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How to give your partner an orgasm
ANY lover wants their partner to feel satisfied

Every considerate lover wants his or her partner to feel satisfied with their sexual experience, however, always remember there are major differences between men's and women's orgasms. Men are more like a microwave oven, while women require more time to warm up.

As a guy, when having sex you want your partner to achieve an orgasm, you must be careful that you aren't putting too much pressure on your wife or girlfriend to enjoy her sex life as you think she ought to, instead focus on her needs and desires for intimacy.

Males and females certainly have quite different sexual needs and responses. Men usually rate intercourse as the most important activity and see making love as a sequence of the three E' s - excitement, erection and ejaculation. Most men feel they've failed if their partner doesn't also climax, preferably simultaneously with them during intercourse.

Be aware that only one half of women usually reach a climax when they make love and only about half of these usually do so during intercourse. So, if your partner is enjoying the total experience of having sex, if she is certainly feeling content and fulfilled, there is no reason why either of you should feel she has a problem even if she doesn't always climax. She is quite normal.

Nonetheless, you will want to be sure that you're making love with your partner in a way most likely to help her experience full sexual satisfaction and climax, if that's what she wants.

Always keep in mind she must be in the right mood to want to make love, this to a large extent depends on how considerate you are as a partner out of bed, as well as in it. Always show her tenderness, concern and love, as this will go a long way in helping her maintain her responsiveness as a lover.

You may believe a couple of drinks will help her get in the mood for sex, however, too much alcohol can cause intimacy problems, drying her vaginal secretions and reducing blood flow to her sex organs; consequently making sex more painful for her and therefore making it harder for your woman to
reach her climax.

Do not try to approach love-making like a competitive sport, when the winning goal is all. Think of it more like a leisurely relaxing swim in a warm pool, where every stroke is a pleasure in itself. It is essential to allow adequate time for foreplay.

Take care to excite your partner's body all over. Start with kissing her, and caress her arms, her back, her legs, with firm, smooth strokes and light, finger-tip, feathery movements. Caress and kiss her face, mouth, ears, neck.

Both of you should feel excited and that your skin is alive all over, you can then move on to the more obviously erotic areas of stimulation. Caress and kiss all over her body. To start with just make the odd lightning dash to the sexual area and away again, and then gradually start to linger there longer.

Women have differing erotic zones, however, the anatomy which brings her the most erotic pleasure is her clitoris. It's the small crest in front of her vagina and is extremely sensitive. Some women find that direct stimulation of her clitoris will make her feel sore. Try the flat of your hand, as this may be what feels best. Your tongue can work wonders if your partner enjoys oral sex, also consider using a sex toy such as a vibrator.

Always communicate with each other when you make love. You've got to let one another know how you feel and what feels good. Don't expect to read one another's thoughts. Sex can be euphoric but it can't achieve such miracles such as mind-reading.

The foreplay build-up may take half an hour or more before your partner feels prepared for sexual intercourse, even though she may have already reached her orgasm through your love-play.

When intercourse commences, the position or positions you choose are your choice, there are certainly no rights or wrongs when it comes to sexual positions. Many couples have
a wonderful sex life never varying from the traditional missionary, face to face position with the man lying between the woman's legs, As a rule, women find they get more sensation in the missionary position if she places a cushion underneath her butt.

Women may enjoy the clitoris and surrounding area being caressed while having intercourse, with the man approaching from behind.

In order to reach a climax the woman usually requires some muscle tension. She shouldn't try to relax but to consciously tense her pelvic-floor muscles. She should arch her back and put her head back. This gets her body in the right position to reach her wonderful climax, as long as her partner continues pleasuring her.

Occasionally women may also find it best if she is on top so she has more direct control over her clitoril stimulation. Sex should feel good to both of you, try going fast, and sometimes more slowly. Again, you must talk to one another to find out about your likes and dislikes.

Couples will have widely varying patterns of orgasmic responses. It certainly doesn't matter whether you both climax simultaneously. A mutually satisfying sexual pattern can be achieved if first the woman climaxes once or more times - the number doesn't really matter as long as she enjoys
it - and the man climaxes afterwards.

You may climax first and lose your erection, you can then either wait and build up to it again, or you can bring her to her climax through other stimulation, with a vibrator, your tongue or your hand.

Your partner may consistently maintain that nothing feels satisfying, if so, don't assume this necessarily means your technique as a lover is at fault. If you've pretty much followed the suggestions I've given here, then the problem is almost certain that fear or anxiety may be blocking her sexual
responsiveness. Frequent reasons for this may be a repressive upbringing or early abusive sexual experiences.

These problems can usually be resolved if you have patience and can persuade your partner to confide in you, however such problems may need professional help to be properly sorted out.

Every considerate lover wants his or her partner to feel satisfied with their sexual experience, however, always remember there are major differences between men's and women's orgasms. Men are more like a microwave oven, while women require more time to warm up. Craig Lamore
March 25,2011

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